13th Sunday Openness to Christ

One of my first conversations with my spiritual director when I entered seminary, at 31 years of age, was why now? Why did God take so long to get me here? I had in my mind the “ideal” or the lifer model in which guys went from high school into college seminary then major seminary, to be ordained at 25. My spiritual director, a wise older gentleman, still alive by the way at over 100 years old, told me simply; “I was probably not ready, and it was not my time.” That has stayed with me for these 27 years.

Even now I am given these moments in time when I finally understand on a deep level life, and what it means to follow Jesus Christ. Seeds were sown, I was given information, theology, but it took time to grasp what it means. I had to be ready to receive what Jesus offered.

It takes life experience to receive truly what God offers through the Holy Spirit, in Jesus Christ. It takes an understanding for us to receive what Jesus offers.

Jesus lays out a clear, idealized version of what it means to follow him; to be his disciple. It means a total commitment, nothing else takes precedence; not even the closest bonds of family, friends. It means accepting the hardships that will come, so as to accept the rewards as well.

We may read this, hear this, and think…”I am not there. I can’t” or some may think “YES! Clear cut goals, I am there and I will succeed!” Said with a certain sense of bravado.

We will all fail too; fail to achieve these goals, this state of discipleship; mostly. Fail, maybe a too strong of a term. We will falter. We are not always ready to receive the wholeness of this commitment.

Remember to whom Jesus is speaking directly to; his own disciples will falter. They will abandon him, deny him, betray him. They will fight over power and authority; they will seek to exclude others who they think don’t belong.

It will only be after their experience of the resurrection that it all changes; that they change; that they are open to receive what Jesus offered--the Spirit.  The Resurrection will open their minds so as to fully receive that they had been given and what they were receiving in the Spirit.

As a priest, one of my “Tasks” is to build up disciples in the parish. It would be easy if we were all on the same page, and all at the same receptivity to the Spirit. We are not. I need to remember this, we all need to remember this.  We all walk differently.

I and all of us need to remember that this is a journey, and we each become more and more open to the Spirit as we go on. I doubt any of us have yet to realize the ideal of discipleship, and that is okay. As long as we aspire to move forward.

The parish becomes a place for us to hear the call to discipleship, to be given the tools for discipleship, and the space to grow and to become ready to receive what God gives. It is supposed to be a safe place too so that when we do falter, we can get encouragement, forgiveness, we make ourselves open to the grace to get up and go again.

That is one of the beautiful aspects of our Catholic faith. We come as sinners, or as imperfect disciples, we come knowing we need to grow. Hopefully, we come open to receive. We are not supposed to demand perfection first, despite what some want or claim.  We come open, searching, with our hands outstretched, ready to receive what God gives, and of course what God wants to give is everything.  But to receive everything takes time for us creatures, and openness, and wisdom. So God remains patient with us, directing us in Christ to be where we need to be.

So let’s be patient with others, not hold them to an ideal that we ourselves have not yet achieved.  Let’s be humble with ourselves and recognize we walk towards this goal, together. Let’s recognize Jesus walks with us as well; supporting, loving, encouraging, lifting up; being truly our lord and savior.